June 1,2011
One of my favorite memories of my Grandma took place a couple of years ago. Nearly six, to be more precise. We were in her room, sitting on her bed, and she was talking about one of my cousins. Grandma was talking about how cute (physically) this cousin was. And because we all want a little affirmation from our Grandma, I went ahead and asked. “Grandma, what about me? Am I cute?” She sat there for a minute and then she said, “You’re fun.” (I STILL laugh at this story.. no matter how many times I tell it....)
Well, I may not have been much to look at, but we certainly had a good time.
Grandma loved to have fun. She would always refer to herself as our Maverick Grandma. She had a great sense of humor and I loved to tell her stories to hear her laugh… A laugh that will be in many of our memories for a long time to come.
There was always fun to be had at Grandma’s house. Whether it was running up and down the hall, scaring ourselves in the freezing cold basement, or swimming in the pool, the memories go on and on. Grandma herself would gather the ladies of the neighborhood for morning water aerobics. Even under the guise of physical exercise, it wasn’t hard to see that Grandma was having a good time.
A few days before she passed, Trevor and his wife Andy came for a visit while I was there. I sat on the bed with Grandma while Trevor and Andy took over the 2 chairs by the bedside. We laughed as we sat there and talked. Right before they left, Trevor said that they would come again soon. Grandma looked at me, with a twinkle in her eye, and said in a secretive hush, “They just want to come back and find out all of our secrets.” We laughed and laughed.
That same Sunday, while I was there, Judy (the care giver) had prepared a fantastic meal of pasta and garlic bread for dinner. I pulled up a chair to Grandma’s little bedside table and we shared her last meal together. Grandma wasn’t very hungry... She took one bite of the garlic toast and gave the rest to me. After eating a few bites of pasta, she turned around to make sure Judy wasn’t watching and then dumped all of her remaining pasta onto my now empty plate. Judy, who noticed something shifty happening, said, “What’s going on over there.” Grandma and I looked at each other with a smile and said at the same time, “Nothing.”
And then, once again, came the laughter.
Another favorite memory is of Grandma buying herself gifts and wrapping them to put under the Christmas tree. To Joyce From Max (my grandpa). I loved that she did this. So much, that I also do it.
Grandma did love shopping. (I inherited that trait as well.) We always loved how she called Walmart “The Walmarts”.
Grandma loved watching TV. One of my cousins recounts that she was always watching Murder She Wrote when they would go visit her on Sunday. Some of her most loved programs included: the Price is Right, (p.s. the second showcase is always better), cooking shows, Survivor, Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.
A particular memory from one of the grandchildren is that when they came for a visit one time, they found her watching Beauty on the Beach on MTV. She didn’t change the channel. Oh no. She just said, “Look at all these hunks.”
She was always interested in her grandchildren’s love lives. She asked more than one of the granddaughters if the boy they were dating was a good kisser. The typical reaction at that point was to blush. Deeply. And then try to recover. As you were trying to figure your way out of that one without answering, “Grandma would say, “Well, if you’re going to date him, he should be a good kisser.” Good advice, Grandma.
She may have been a grandma, but that didn’t deter her interest in romance. She was my cousin’s (Shannon) introduction to paperback romance novels. One year she noticed Grandma’s Yanni calendar . When Shannon asked her about where it came from, she told her simply that Yanni was hot and then asked Shannon if she also thought so.
Besides being fun, Grandma was thoughtful and generous. She was always there for each of us. She might not have liked some of the things that we did, but she always supported us.
We were all the recipients of her volunteer work at the hospital. She would buy most of the offerings at the hospital gift shop to give to us on special occasions. She, nearly singlehandedly, kept the gift shop in business. Grandma was extremely generous and continually thinking of others and of ways that she could help. That generosity didn’t stop with just family members. As her grandchildren, we’ve encountered people who lived in her neighborhood who told us of their love for her. They mentioned that she would not only visit them, but she would also bring them treats and provide Christmas for them every year. They also considered her their grandma. Those kind acts were never mentioned to us…
Her thoughtfulness also translated into an uncanny ability to track special occasions and get cards or gifts sent in time. She never forgot a birthday and usually joined in the celebration if at all possible. As her grandchildren, we would receive a Valentine’s card with a $2 bill inside. She gave Christmas cards and gifts to everyone each year, even friends whom we adopted into the family. She wrapped all of those presents by herself up until the last couple of years. One of her favorite Christmas games was the white elephant gift exchange in which no one ended up with what they actually wanted and the gifts were nicer than those that we would buy ourselves. (For example: crockpots, measuring spoons, and other things).
She loved holiday traditions and family get-togethers…and what would a family gathering be without food? Our family sure knows how to eat. Since my family lived in another state, my cousins would get together every Christmas Eve and enjoyed a prime rib dinner with shrimp and yummy potatoes etc. When they were small, Santa would visit after dinner and bring to each a large carton of Whoppers. Grandma always gave us a box of Fernwood mints for Christmas as well. For Halloween, my cousins would show her their costumes in exchange for apple cider, donuts and a whole paper bag full of candy (the likes of which she handed out to her neighborhood kids as well). For Memorial Day, they would visit family graves and then return to her house to eat and swim in her pool. The meal usually included deviled eggs and shrimp salad.
Grandma would always fed whoever visited her on Sunday afternoons. She had several candy jars containing a variety of goodies. Among the list? Salt water taffy, tootsie rolls, and gum drops. Her cookie jar was always full of: vanilla/chocolate/strawberry wafers and grasshopper cookies. The best part (for my cousins and siblings, at least) was that she would let them eat as many as they wanted. (Sidenote: As it turns out, as a child, I didn’t like candy. Unless it involved chocolate and caramel. As for the grasshopper cookies and those wafers? I still can’t choke them down.)
She always had Tab in the fridge.
Whenever we came to stay with Grandma, she would always have mini cereal boxes for breakfast. As well as eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, and pancakes. Feeding us was a way for her to make us feel loved and welcome.
Grandma was always understanding and loved us no matter what decisions we had made. She passed no judgment and had an immediate acceptance of any new family members. People felt comfortable around her.
Grandma was also our own People Magazine: Family Edition. She had an unparalleled ability to keep track of each member of the family and then relay that information to everyone else. Along with keeping us all informed on each other, I loved hearing stories from her own life. She would also tell me a lot of stories about other people (relatives) and for many years I had no idea who they were... She also seemed to always be a step ahead of my thoughts and sometimes help me finish a sentence by echoing the last word with me. That characteristic only meant that she was listening and that she really cared about what we were saying.
Grandma always saw the positive in people and would not speak ill of others. Although, she sure wasn’t going to hold back if there was something she wanted you to know. A few grandchildren mentioned that Grandma didn’t hold back telling them when they were making wrong choices. She could tell them exactly what she thought, but always loved them and supported them.
A few of my cousins learned firsthand that she didn’t think much of the idea of giving birth without the help of medication. Saying: “ You are stupid. If God intended us to do that he would not have invented the drugs.” Even though she would sometimes not hold back, she truly did promote the idea that all of us needed to be allowed to make our own choices.
A few years ago, while staying overnight at Grandma’s condo in St. George, Shannon found a book on her night table entitled: “Warning: When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple”. The poem by this title urges one to enjoy life and not spend too much time keeping up pretenses and worrying about what other people will think. Even if Grandma didn’t worry about over rated pretenses, she always did put her best foot forward. She took good care of everything. Including herself – There are a few things that most of us will always remember... The perfume she wore, her love of jewelry, and that she had her hair and nails done every week.
One particular memory from some of the grandchildren relates to when they would stop by and help wash off her outdoor furniture every year. On one of those occasions, they got in a huge water fight and Grandma was laughing. But was very serious when she told them not to get her or her hair wet.
Grandma had many wonderful traits that blessed the lives of all of those around her. She is the glue that held all of the family together. We’ll miss her.
A few years ago for Christmas, one of the gifts I received from Grandma was a 5 x 7 picture frame containing a little saying. It reads:
A Granddaughter is just a little girl who grows up to be your friend.
I want to continue that same association that I’ve been able to have with her.
In D&C 130:2 it reads:
And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.
Grandma had a testimony of the gospel. It is the particular memory of some that whenever Grandma would share her testimony, she would get very emotional because it meant so much to her.
I will surely miss her. But I know that through our Father in Heaven’s plan of salvation, the Savior’s atoning sacrifice, and the sealing ordinances performed through the priesthood in the Temple, that we will be with Grandma again. I’m counting on it.
Adaptation of the talk my cousin, Shannon, and I gave at our Grandmother's Funeral.
Photos from U2.com
